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judging yourself


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#16 HelenVJ

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Posted 09 December 2019 - 15:09

Actually, many kids these days are constantly told by both teachers and parents that they are fantastic and wonderful, and they are encouraged to make positive affirmations ('Today I was good at..') to boost their self-esteem. But as AP's friend is presumably not of school-age, I'd go along with the wind-up theory.


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#17 adultpianist

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Posted 09 December 2019 - 20:04

 

... a friend  said if she started the piano she would be excellent. 

As usual, a different angle. Aren't children discouraged by their parents from saying OTT things about their own ability before they start school to prevent them being put in their place by other kids? So, if this lady is older than five or six, my question is 'why did she say that, to someone like Adult Pianist who, in matters musical,  is far more knowledgeable?' 

Having experienced life with two brothers, each with a warped sense of humour, I wonder if the lady were not simply having a go at 'winding AP up'? Many of us would, I think, react with umbrage if someone implied that they could, with minimum effort, do something  we have worked at much better than we can. If this was her aim, then I'd say she has been quite successful.

 

she was definately not winding me up


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#18 sopsaxharpflute

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Posted 10 December 2019 - 11:29

ok so on discussing with a friend she said if she started the piano she would be excellent.  I said how do you know that unless you try and she said I am pretty confident that I would be excellent.  This is coming from someone who has never studied music or any instrument in her life.

 

The big question for me is, what did she try to express? Perhaps, she just meant to be willing to invest all the time energy needed to become as excellent as would be achievable for her personally.


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#19 adultpianist

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Posted 10 December 2019 - 18:44

 

ok so on discussing with a friend she said if she started the piano she would be excellent.  I said how do you know that unless you try and she said I am pretty confident that I would be excellent.  This is coming from someone who has never studied music or any instrument in her life.

 

The big question for me is, what did she try to express? Perhaps, she just meant to be willing to invest all the time energy needed to become as excellent as would be achievable for her personally.

 

When I challenged her she backed down and said she would practice and with practice she would be good.  However she has never played the piano or tried to so who knows.   I tried the guitar and was not prepared to practice because I did not like it and gave up after only one lesson


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#20 Saxwarbler

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Posted 11 December 2019 - 11:11

When I challenged her she backed down and said she would practice and with practice she would be good.  However she has never played the piano or tried to so who knows.   I tried the guitar and was not prepared to practice because I did not like it and gave up after only one lesson.

Why not do a sort of grade one challenge together for charity? Give yourselves a time limit, say, nine months or a year. She has to learn a grade one piece and you have to learn a new piece at a grade above the one you're currently studying at?

I have to say, though, when I proposed an office wide 'learn a skill' challenge at work last year, the one who was putting down my guitarist friend was the one finding every excuse under the sun not to take part.
 


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#21 hennylemon

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Posted 11 December 2019 - 11:16

I get that it’s very irritating when people with no experience say unwarranted comments such as this one, but I don’t really see the point in wallowing in it either. Have a good chuckle and move on. :)
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#22 Aeolienne

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Posted 12 December 2019 - 13:50

I'm reminded of a scene in one of the Pippi Longstocking books, in which the titular heroine announces she wants to buy a piano and know-it-all Tommy says "But Pippi, you can't play the piano!" Her retort: "How do I know I can't, if I don't have a piano? I'm telling you, learning to play the piano without a piano takes a lot of practice."

Perhaps adultpianist's acquaintance got the idea from a certain Grauniad magazine feature...

https://forums.abrsm...showtopic=62938


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