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Room 101


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#1 elemimele

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Posted 30 July 2022 - 20:43

I'm sure we've done this before, but it's probably been a while. What musical items, themes, etc., would you gladly ditch for ever into Room 101, never to be seen again?

 

I'm going to start with Improvised Percussion Solos.

 

Percussionists don't seem to get the point that the rest of us only let them believe they're musicians because we're nice people. They can't actually play notes. That makes them lower in the scheme of things even than viola players (who can, but only underneath the violins, and slightly out of tune).

 

So imagine the scenario: here we are listening to a gorgeous soloist whose vocal gymnastics and elegance know no bounds, a nimble-fingered guitar player (who can play lots of notes at once, and get them all right, too), a deep and sonorous cello, and a recorder in this particular case. They're all people who can go it alone; even the recorder can claim to be quite tolerable as a solo instrument, pointing rather smugly at Van Eyck. They have rhythm, they got music, they got melody. They can give us the whole works. And in the corner, there's a chap banging on a couple of drums. 

 

Now I've nothing against the drums. They add a lot of atmosphere. They really do improve the music. But percussion is like perfume: it adds the atmosphere, but you don't want to be conscious it's happening. And suddenly, everyone trails off, the music having reached a lovely, natural ending, but instead of stopping with the rest, the percussionist carries on. He bangs manically, supercharging his rhythm. It's like having the perfume, at super-strength, without the woman who was wearing it. And it won't stop. 

 

Let's face it, the percussionist may have rhythm, but he's only got two notes: Bang and Thud. Half way through, he starts slapping his thighs for a bit of variety. Slap Bang Thud. None of the others did a solo bit. Why on earth does the percussionist believe we could possibly find Bang, Thud (and the occasional Slap), on its own, more attractive than the full panoply of rhythm, melody and harmony that the group as a whole were so beautifully producing, only a few (long) minutes ago?

 

To perform Improvised Percussion Solos is the height of vain self-delusion. Away with them!


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#2 Norway

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 06:32

The Mastermind theme tune. So horrible. :sick: And the plinky plonky musical establishment which looks down on people who want to play tunes.


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#3 Latin pianist

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 07:13

Harpsichords. I know some people love them but when I hear one played I just think wouldn’t it sound better on a piano.


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#4 Hildegard

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 07:18

I'm sure we've done this before, but it's probably been a while. What musical items, themes, etc., would you gladly ditch for ever into Room 101, never to be seen again?

 

Xenakis (whose Jonchaies I'm going to have to sit through at tonight's BBC Prom before getting to the much more delightful Ravel and Stravinsky that follow).


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#5 Norway

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 07:30

I know this isn't music but Judi Dench and her silly advert. What is she thinking of? I don't even have an NVQ in acting but I wouldn't get involved in that cringe fest.


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#6 AdLibitum

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 08:18

The Mastermind theme tune. So horrible. :sick: And the plinky plonky musical establishment which looks down on people who want to play tunes.

I see your Mastermind theme tune and I raise you the Archers theme tune! Even more horrible that the program itself, IMO, and that's saying something!
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#7 fsharpminor

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 08:20

Bagpipes.  I cannot stand the sound of them ! 


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#8 stetenorve

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 08:26

Quick - retrieve the bagpipes. They are the most stirring martial instruments to march behind!


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#9 maggiemay

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 08:32

Flower duet ( from LakmĂ©?) 


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#10 dorfmouse

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 08:36

Big vibrato. (The delicate shimmery sort can stay free.)
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#11 Norway

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 08:42

:agree: Anything after the overture in most operas.


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#12 Hildegard

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 08:57

The Mastermind theme tune. So horrible. :sick:

 

Not specially composed but a piece appropriately entitled "Approaching Menace" from an album of library music by Neil Richardson who, if I remember correctly, was a BBC staff conductor.


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#13 Hildegard

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 08:58

:agree: Anything after the overture in most operas.

 

Ooo, bad luck Mozart, Beethoven, Wagner, Verdi, Puccini and all the rest. Is it that you simply don't like singing?


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#14 AdLibitum

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 09:20

Big vibrato. (The delicate shimmery sort can stay free.)

Totally.
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#15 Norway

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Posted 31 July 2022 - 09:59

I like singing. I don't like wobbling! And abuse of a note that was never meant to be a trill!


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