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Aaaaaaaaaggghh - The Scream Thread!


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#17221 linda.ff

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Posted 10 January 2016 - 23:45

Lemontree, a friend of mine in the USA posted a link to this article on facebook today - you might be interested to read it (as might others who have commented on Lemontree's plight):

 

http://www.nytimes.c...women.html?_r=1

 

:)

Cyrilla, that's just fantastic! It seems to echo what I had been thinking when we had the trouble with the Lydian soldiers in Cambridge - they are exposed to what they see in this culture and it just looks like a playground to them - probably the same thing as in Cologne.

 

Thanks for posting that - it should be shared and shared.  (Also reassured me that I was not out on a limb in saying that the core of the problem was the preponderance of young men)


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#17222 Maizie

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Posted 11 January 2016 - 07:58

Lydian soldiers

Modal armed forces! :rofl:


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#17223 linda.ff

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Posted 11 January 2016 - 08:24

Lydian soldiers

Modal armed forces! :rofl:

:D my daughter is a Lydia - fingers just did it automatically
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#17224 Aquarelle

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Posted 11 January 2016 - 13:47

I'd like to add my thanks for Cyrilla's link - interesting and sensible. And as Linda says it should be shared. It  is neither abusive nor phobilc to attempt to teach people from very different cultures how to adapt to their new surroundings. It  is in fact our duty to do it and their responsibility to respond..


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#17225 Clarinetta

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Posted 11 January 2016 - 16:25

I agree. An excellent article and it's much more accurate to describe these as cultural rather than racial differences.


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#17226 ejw21

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 12:26

Thank you Cyrilla for sharing the link, I have just read the article, It's very well written.


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#17227 Tortellini

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 13:11

Lemontree - I know exactly where you are coming from and we have similar problems where I live. There seems to be such a fear of appearing racist these days that the important issues are not even discussed and yet, there is a clear link between cultural background / upbringing and sexual assaults. If there weren't then surely sexual assault would be equally prevalent throughout the world and it's not: certain societies permit or even encourage attacks on women and it is naive to suggest that men (especially young men with limited world experience and possibly traumatic upbringings) are going to suddenly understand AND conform to different norms. That is not to say that everyone from certain countries is a rapist of course!


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#17228 linda.ff

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 13:44

Lemontree - I know exactly where you are coming from and we have similar problems where I live. There seems to be such a fear of appearing racist these days that the important issues are not even discussed and yet, there is a clear link between cultural background / upbringing and sexual assaults. If there weren't then surely sexual assault would be equally prevalent throughout the world and it's not: certain societies permit or even encourage attacks on women and it is naive to suggest that men (especially young men with limited world experience and possibly traumatic upbringings) are going to suddenly understand AND conform to different norms. That is not to say that everyone from certain countries is a rapist of course!

I was speaking to an Indian parent yesterday, on this topic, since they also have domestic problems of that kind in India. She says it seems very much a matter of education. Indians in Britain are mostly highly educated (she and her husband are both consultant anaesthetists) but the uneducated Indians do not come to Europe and the west, they stay in India and continue this despicable attitude towards women. On the other hand, many men from Pakistan and Bangladesh do come to work in Britain, taxi drivers, kitchen workers and so on - and they do not come with enlightened sexual or gender attitudes, they are not the educated ones.

 

<sigh> There;s still a desperate need for education of women as well as men in many parts of the third world. Just don't get me started on child brides and the desperate things that happens as a result of this practice: surely those societies cannot be very happy?


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#17229 hummingbird

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 13:45

I'd like to add my thanks for Cyrilla's link - interesting and sensible. And as Linda says it should be shared. It  is neither abusive nor phobilc to attempt to teach people from very different cultures how to adapt to their new surroundings. It  is in fact our duty to do it and their responsibility to respond..

 

In the Second World War, the American armed forces being stationed in Britain were issued with a booklet giving them the run-down on the British way of life in an attempt to enable them fit more easily into British society.  If I was going to emigrate to another country, I would welcome something similar about that country's culture.  It's an abdication of a government's responsibility if it does not both protect its people and enable immigrants to settle in effectively, without causing trouble for themselves and others.


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#17230 Cyrilla

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 23:21

I've seen some of that WW2 booklet - it's fascinating.     And, yes, a very good idea to do something like this now, as you suggest, polkadot.

 

:)


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#17231 Lemontree

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Posted 13 January 2016 - 17:14

I have a lot going on right now, so sorry that I haven't been here for a couple of days since I started that topic. Since there is now also a Pegina demonstration right in front of the house were I work announced for EVERY evening of the week, with a really dubious crowd, I really needed to find a solution for getting home. We found one in a bus that goes from where I work to very close to my home. I still have to walk a stretch but in a lively neighborhood with a lot of cafès and such which should offer enough protection.

 

The booklet is interesting news. If you think about the fact that AMERICANS received (as I understood it) the booklet to better fit in into BRITISH society. Those two cultures are as closely related as anyone can be. If they already received instructions, than you should think about the need to advice completely different cultures.

 

Oh, and a friend of mine got some informations about tasers and pepper spray. Obviously there is one which doesn't work with a nebulizer but with a liquid beam which is less dangerous to the one defending oneself but also gets more attackers than just one (as would the taser). So I guess I will be buying one of those.


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#17232 Misterioso

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Posted 13 January 2016 - 17:52

Keep safe, Lemontree.  :)


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#17233 linda.ff

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Posted 13 January 2016 - 20:30

Change of subject...

 

Was really looking forward to tonight's meal. I can only do so much in the kitchen before I have to go and sit down, so I'll say what is needed next and Mr ff will take over. Tonight: Butternut Squash au gratin. I peeled the squash earlier in the afternoon, then chopped it, chopped onion, fried both in butter, then needed to sit, so husband puts stock ion the pan with them to simmer, then cool, put in dish, and mix in goat's cheese, nutmeg, herbs and a little cream and get ready to top with grated cheddar mixed with cheese crisps and put in the oven.

 

There's just been a loud scream of rage from the kitchen. He's accidentally knocked the dish on to the floor and almost all of it is gone. :crying:  :thereThere: husband.

 

Looks like yellow sick on the floor. Has to be cleaned up but at the moment the dog is doing it for us  :blink:

 

There is about an inch of the mixture left in the dish now. We're going to top it anyway and put into the oven.  Cook some green beans and a small amount of oven chips if we have any. If it tastes nice we can make it again next week. I'll let you know.

 

OK, you can stop trying to muffle your laughter you lot and get back to the multicultural sexual politics... :rolleyes:


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#17234 Tenor Viol

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Posted 13 January 2016 - 22:56

You'd think this would be a happy as I saw consultant today and I am having my eye sorted on Friday (new lens). The argh is that surgery on my eye is my worst nightmare... there's a reason I don't wear contact lenses...

 

I'll just have to get on with it.


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#17235 linda.ff

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Posted 13 January 2016 - 23:34

You'd think this would be a happy as I saw consultant today and I am having my eye sorted on Friday (new lens). The argh is that surgery on my eye is my worst nightmare... there's a reason I don't wear contact lenses...

 

I'll just have to get on with it.

TV, what are you having done? Is it with a local or a general anaesthetic?

 

I've had surgery on both eyes with local and with general anaesthetic, and I have got used to it. And you will, as you say, get on with it. I have found that when I'm afraid of something, before it happens, I am not afraid when it happens because I've got it there, it's actually happening, and I think we all do "deal with it" in some way, even if it's by screaming - but the fear was what I feared most until I learnt that this was the one thing that wouldn't be present.

 

When I had my first corneal transplant 22 years ago I twice had to have it corrected under a local - this means a couple of incisions to loosen the stretch in one direction. I could not believe they would do it while I was awake, and I went to ask my GP about it. I fully expected him to say "of course you are entitled to have a general anaesthetic if that's what you want, I'll arrange for it". Did he heck. He just said "you'll be all right" And sure enough, I was

 

There were two things I was apprehensive about, and by the time I had to have the same procedure done a second time I was so blasé about it you just wouldn't believe it. I had come to realise that if you can work out exactly what you're afraid of it's much easier to deal with.

 

The first was that I would feel something, that the anaesthetic would not work I had a couple of tests on the day before and realised that optical anaesthetics are THE fastest acting thing on this earth and totally effective, really strong. The second was the speculum that would be put in to hold my eye open so I wouldn't blink. Now I am the world's no. 1 worst flincher without a doubt. My consultant in Liverpool used to call me "oh no not you again". But the doctor didn't say anything, he just opened my eyelids and stuck it in (I had been numbed by then) and I actually tested it by trying to blink. I realised I couldn't.  Towards the end of the second operation I was dimly aware of a thread, a needle and a pair of scissors, and I had not even realised they were going to include sutures in this procedure, they had done it without my being aware of it.

 

This all meant not to wind you up but to reassure you that, as my GP said, "you'll be all right". If it's a general you won't know anything until after it's over and there on;t be agonising pain, just a bit of soreness. If it's a local, I promise you it will not hurt and the only thing you need to make sure of is that you don't move at the crucial moment - but nas my second surgeon said "will you move? Oh, I don't think you will, you know" and nobody does.

 

They're very good, eye surgeons. They're not like that b*gger that blinded both Bach and Handel! Good luck, keep us posted. :)  


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