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#16 Chomp

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Posted 27 September 2014 - 15:30

I've had "Are you sure you don't teach violin?"

:o
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#17 AirVarie

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Posted 27 September 2014 - 22:41

Some are really priceless.

 

I had a more traditional one recently:

 

(Text from enquirer) "Hello, do you still give violin lessons in xycity?" [nothing else]

 

(me) " Yes, I do. Are you interested in lessons for yourself or for your child?"

 

(Enquirer) "It is for my son, he is 6. We can do every weekday after school. Do we need violin?"

 

Never heard from them again when I replied they would need one.

 

And a similar one:

 

Call from a mum regarding violin lessons for her daughter:

 

The mum (without much of an introduction): "Hello, I'm looking for a violin teacher for my daughter, but of course I'm not going to buy her a violin!"

 

Me: "Er, why not?"

 

The mum: "Well, I don't know if she is going to like it. What if she doesn't like it?"

 

......


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#18 jenny

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Posted 28 September 2014 - 11:33

I once had an enquiry from a mum who started off by asking 'what kind of piano teacher are you?'  


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#19 Hedgehog

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Posted 28 September 2014 - 14:14

I once had an enquiry from a mum who started off by asking 'what kind of piano teacher are you?'  

A good one! :rofl:


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#20 fionamck

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Posted 28 September 2014 - 16:24

Haven't posted for while but couldn't resist sharing my best enquiry, similar lines to those where not having an instrument at home doesn't seem to be considered to be a barrier to taking lessons:

 

Me:  "Do you have a piano at home?"

 

Mother: "No, but my daughter has a keyboard app on her ipad, surely that would do, we need to see if she is going to be any good before we get one...."

 

I was sorely tempted to suggest if they could borrow another ipad, she could 'play' one with her left hand and the one with her right but thought they might actually think that a serious suggestion.....


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#21 Cyrilla

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Posted 28 September 2014 - 17:40

These are PRICELESS.

I think Bag should edit the 'Shouldn't Happen to a Peri' book :) :) :)

I'm still laughing at dorabella's one...

:rofl:
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#22 RoseRodent

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Posted 29 September 2014 - 10:10

I suppose some of the questions which seem daft to us can be real queries from someone who has never had the musical experience. I have also had "can you teach her violin, no we can't buy a violin" - I mean, miss one lesson and it will pay for the nastiest violin available, which would at least be something. I always ask for students to come by and show me the instrument and sign contracts before starting any actual lessons because I've had too many experiences of a 3 foot child showing up with a 4/4 violin. I suppose if you take weekly swimming lessons you don't get asked to buy a swimming pool so we can't assume people should know, but asking for a visit for a lesson on an instrument they don't have is priceless. 

 

I continually get asked if I would just give the odd piano lesson because to their inexperienced eye and ear my piano playing sounds OK. I don't mind showing people a bit of keyboard geography to support their school music and theory lessons, familiarity with the instrument for when they have to listen to one in aural tests, etc. but I won't teach someone to "play the piano". There follows "Can't you just get her started and then we'll move to a piano teacher when we need to". Cue patient and well-rehearsed spiel about the formative years being vital, me not knowing enough about posture and touch, the folly of having to unlearn later. Straight over the heads, what about if they come every other week for [first instrument] and the second week for piano. Uuuurgh! 

 

Other fabulous questions include "Will he need any music of his own?" "Do you provide the violin?" (again, not too silly a question, it might have been that I rented them out) but the tediously repetitive one is "Can you teach my child to pass the entry test for the music school, it's on Friday" 


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#23 light

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 10:53

This happened last week:   mother brought 13 yr old for a trial lesson. Mother to me "how old are you?"  Rather taken aback, I answered that I was in my early seventies, but fit and well. Mother's reply - "That's no good then - you will be dead before my daughter gets to grade 8".....


!!!!!!! What on earth did you reply to that?!!!!
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#24 agricola

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 13:57

I get people wanting to start with no piano quite often and my standard response is " you can't tell if she will be any good until she has done some serious practice, and that can't happen until you have at least a crummy keyboard, so beg, borrow or steal one and call me again when you have it ".  I always expect to hear no more from them but surprisingly many people do as I advise -- it may just be that they have zero experience of learning an instrument and genuinely don't understand what is involved. 


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#25 Hedgehog

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 14:02

I suppose if you take weekly swimming lessons you don't get asked to buy a swimming pool so we can't assume people should know,

 

...no, I rather think it's like going to take swimming lessons without a swimming cossie ....  :D  :rolleyes:


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#26 BpianoK

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 14:11

I've had people ask if I can teach ukulele or didgeridoo (I'm a piano teacher). I also had someone ask if I can teach their 15 year old child theory, and was informed he was a complete beginner. He actually wanted advice on his compositions (dance/pop music), and I am not even a little bit of a composer!!
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#27 Hedgehog

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 19:41

 

 

I suppose if you take weekly swimming lessons you don't get asked to buy a swimming pool so we can't assume people should know,

 

...no, I rather think it's like going to take swimming lessons without a swimming cossie ....  :D  :rolleyes:

 

 

Don't joke.  In one of my other lives I have had people approach me for swimming lessons who have thought they could learn to swim on dry land, so that when they actually get into the water they'll be able to "just do it"   :crying:

 

Gosh, if learning to swim were only that easy, I could do it!

 

Sorry, seriously  :offTopic: .  I'll go away now.


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#28 soccermom

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 21:42

My mother in law says she learned to swim on dry land (lying on top of a stool and practising arm and leg movements) before actually doing it for real in a pool.


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#29 jpiano

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 21:51

My mother in law says she learned to swim on dry land (lying on top of a stool and practising arm and leg movements) before actually doing it for real in a pool.

This was evidently a common enough practice at one time for Noel Streatfeild to give an account of it  in the children's book The Circus is Coming.


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#30 owainsutton

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 22:02

My mother in law says she learned to swim on dry land (lying on top of a stool and practising arm and leg movements) before actually doing it for real in a pool.

 

I've seen photos of this in action in school playgrounds, from perhaps the 1930s or so.

 

The teaching staff were probably never required to actually document evidence of the success of this process...


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