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Difficult teachers


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#1 Pianopiano

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Posted 31 January 2020 - 15:42

Has anyone ever had a piano teacher shout at your child and made him/her cry? And how did you handle it?
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#2 Banjogirl

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Posted 31 January 2020 - 17:43

Carefully. Do you know that the teacher shouted? Were you there? Lots of children will say that a teacher shouted when what actually happened was that the teacher told them off or said something that they didn't want to hear.

Only you can decide what to do. If you're sure that the teacher behaved inappropriately then of course you'll want to terminate lessons with them.
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#3 Pianopiano

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Posted 31 January 2020 - 18:47

I was present. I was so angry I just left with my child. Looking back I should've demanded my money back. We never went back.

Just wondering if anyone else had a similar experience.
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#4 corenfa

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Posted 31 January 2020 - 20:07

I have, in that I was the student. However this was in Asia in the 80s and it was somewhat more tolerated in those days.
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#5 Pianopiano

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Posted 01 February 2020 - 02:52

I don't know why they think they're entitled to treat people like that. Why would you pay for that or go back again?
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#6 Latin pianist

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Posted 01 February 2020 - 06:38

Was this the first lesson? Some teachers do shout at their pupils. I never do, in fact the other day I was teaching a student who was playing a piece from loose sheets which kept falling off the piano. I was getting frustrated by this and my pupil said that was the most annoyed she'd ever seen me. She has a singing teacher who does shout at her students and reduce them to tears and get they keep going to her and she gets good results.
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#7 Pianopiano

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Posted 01 February 2020 - 07:10

It wasn't the first lesson. He played something wrong that she hadn't taught him. Kept shouting at him 'you've done it wrong'. He was 6 years old. How is that acceptable?

There's frustration about paper falling off. That's not personal. No one minds that. Shouting isn't an effective or acceptable teaching method. It's just wrong.
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#8 mel2

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Posted 01 February 2020 - 07:44

It isn't acceptable - it's bad teaching and you did the right thing by leaving.
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#9 Pianopiano

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Posted 01 February 2020 - 15:12

Thanks. When you've had a difficult teacher, did you ever tell them?
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#10 HelenVJ

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Posted 01 February 2020 - 15:52

I think that by leaving, you will have given this teacher the idea that shouting at a six-year-old - or anyone! - is not considered acceptable. Should she ask, you could tell her, but otherwise probably not. Do you pay by the lesson, and is there a notice period?  Maybe some of her students tolerate this. Who knows. 

I hope you find a more sympathetic teacher soon


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#11 Ligneo Fistula

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Posted 01 February 2020 - 23:16

Has anyone ever had a piano teacher shout at your child and made him/her cry? And how did you handle it?

When I was a child this was very much the expected image of a piano teacher, ruler in hand ready to pounce on any error.  The impression I get from documentaries etc is that teaching at ballet conservatoires doesn't shy away from eliciting students' tears.


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#12 Pianopiano

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Posted 02 February 2020 - 03:08

We left her a few years ago. Her name only came up again because our teacher left and suggested her as a replacement. When I told him that we'd had her already and what had happened he sided with her saying they were friends.

If I had a friend who shouted at small kids and made them cry I'd want to sort it out and get an apology across. I wouldn't just side with her, I thought that reaction was immature, rather playground like.

As for'teaching' with a ruler ready to slap you, or making kids cry in ballet school, I'd class that as abusive. I wouldn't pay anyone to treat a child like that. It's not the army.
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#13 BadStrad

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Posted 02 February 2020 - 11:14

If I had a friend who shouted at small kids and made them cry I'd want to sort it out and get an apology across.

From the child or the friend? I can't imagine a friend would shout at a child without provocation.
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#14 BadStrad

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Posted 02 February 2020 - 11:20

The impression I get from documentaries etc is that teaching at ballet conservatoires doesn't shy away from eliciting students' tears.

I doubt the teachers set out to make the students cry, but conservatoires are in the business of turning out professional ballet dancers. That is a tough life. If a student can't cope with being shouted at they're not going to cut it as a professional dancer. Of course at that level they aren't little kids.
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#15 Pianopiano

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Posted 02 February 2020 - 12:38

I'd get apology from the adult. Some adults are just bullies and wouldn't have the guts to shout at the parents the way they shout at the kids. If it's the child's fault I'd get the child to apologise. In my case my son was just playing what she'd told him to play. I know other parents have complained about her and just changed teachers which most parents do.

I was just posting to see if anyone had a similar experience. Looking back I wish I'd demanded my money back. No parent in their right mind pays for anyone to mistreat their child.
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