Jump to content


Photo

judging yourself


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 adultpianist

adultpianist

    Prodigy

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1120 posts
  • Member: 888829
    Joined: 04-August 14

Posted 08 December 2019 - 00:56

ok so on discussing with a friend she said if she started the piano she would be excellent.  I said how do you know that unless you try and she said I am pretty confident that I would be excellent.  This is coming from someone who has never studied music or any instrument in her life.

 

I am pretty sure the well known pianists who have made a career out of playing have not been so pompus as to say they would be excellent.  Not even Martha Argerich who is one of the finest pianist of her day.  They are humble enough to try the piano and if they are good they are good and they only find out once they start to learn

 

 


  • 0

#2 BadStrad

BadStrad

    Virtuoso

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 4082 posts
  • Member: 88756
    Joined: 28-January 10

Posted 08 December 2019 - 01:11

Perhaps your friend is someone who has achieved much in another sphere. People often forget that their achievements at say A level or university or beyond are built on over a decade of previous learning and only focus on their most current results. So they think they can achieve much in a couple of years.
  • 1

#3 Latin pianist

Latin pianist

    Virtuoso

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 3856 posts
  • Member: 711500
    Joined: 01-April 13
  • Cotswolds

Posted 08 December 2019 - 07:39

Perhaps she should give it a try.
  • 0

#4 EllieD

EllieD

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 754 posts
  • Member: 897806
    Joined: 04-June 17

Posted 08 December 2019 - 08:12

Be interesting to know what the context was that your friend came out with such a strange statement. If she is already a professional harp player who dabbles to a very high standard in guitar and percussion, OK maybe we can give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she'd have been pretty nifty on the piano too. Otherwise .... 


  • 1

#5 thara96

thara96

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 316 posts
  • Member: 898080
    Joined: 04-August 17
  • UK

Posted 08 December 2019 - 09:42

Perhaps ask her to try it and see what happens. Does she play a instrument or not? 


  • 1

#6 Banjogirl

Banjogirl

    Virtuoso

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2886 posts
  • Member: 39509
    Joined: 12-September 08

Posted 08 December 2019 - 10:10

Perhaps she's just an idiot with no self-awareness.
  • 4

#7 Norway

Norway

    Virtuoso

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 4747 posts
  • Member: 452922
    Joined: 05-May 12

Posted 08 December 2019 - 10:54

I know someone like this - apparently nurses are lazy, school teachers just haven't left school, and all the people in the disadvantaged estate down the road are spongers. Of course the person in question has never been in any of those positions!


  • 1

#8 corenfa

corenfa

    Virtuoso

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 6205 posts
  • Member: 95861
    Joined: 28-March 10
  • Here

Posted 08 December 2019 - 11:16

Her idea of excellent and yours may differ vastly!
  • 5

#9 Maizie

Maizie

    Virtuoso

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 6752 posts
  • Member: 9360
    Joined: 05-February 07
  • Bishop's Stortford, Hertfordshire

Posted 08 December 2019 - 15:33

My husband used to manage an independent record shop.  In the same town there was a chain record store, and a Woolworths with a record section.

He would often get people come in and look at something and say that Woolworths were advertising it at £X.  Notably, Woolworths would often not have the item in stock (I'm guessing they got a limited number in and sold out pretty quickly).  And my husband always used to say - Well, I could sell it that cheap if I didn't have it in stock.  As in, if all I had to do was words, not reality, then I could do some pretty darn amazing words.

Sounds similar to me - it's perfectly possible to believe you could be the best in the world, if you never intend to find out!

 

(Aside: Woolworths used records/CDs as a loss-leader; not long before my husband's shop closed down, he could go to Woolworths and buy CDs in their promotions cheaper than he could get it from the record company!)


  • 3

#10 Saxwarbler

Saxwarbler

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 766 posts
  • Member: 768786
    Joined: 29-May 13
  • Leicester

Posted 08 December 2019 - 20:20

Reminds me of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in Pride and Prejudice: "There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more true enjoyment of music than myself, or a better natural taste. If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient". And when it comes down to it, she's just a snob whose only talent is being a snob.

A chap I work with has had a hankering to play the guitar for some time. I think he's had a few mental health issues as well as a tricky home situation (his wife doesn't like 'that noise') so getting on with the task has been slow and he's largely teaching himself as and when he's able. I encourage him by asking how he's getting on and telling him to 'keep at it'.

A fellow colleague, however, constantly dismisses his attempts, outwardly in a joking way but it must hurt the first guy. Says things like, "Don't believe him. He'll never learn". I ask the colleague if he can play a musical instrument or sing and he always says that he can't but, if he started to learn, he'd make better progress than our friend. I know him well enough to tell him to prove it, but he always finds a reason not to. It's a pity because otherwise he's a lovely, supportive colleague. These days, when asking our friend about his progress (I try to make it more of a 'catch-up' on both sides) I try to make conversation when we're in the kitchen or when the other chap is out of the office, so awful do I feel to hear a would-be musician put down in that way.


  • 2

#11 Invidia

Invidia

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 868 posts
  • Member: 12564
    Joined: 29-June 07
  • London

Posted 08 December 2019 - 21:41

The kind of people discussed here are usually compensating for a lack of self-esteem. 

  • 2

#12 adultpianist

adultpianist

    Prodigy

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1120 posts
  • Member: 888829
    Joined: 04-August 14

Posted 09 December 2019 - 01:13

Perhaps ask her to try it and see what happens. Does she play a instrument or not? 

 

If you look at my original post I said she does not play an an instrument.   Having said that, I play piano and flute and tried the guitar.  I absolutely loathed it and only had one lesson and that just shoes that just because you are good or enjoy one thing, you will enjoy or be good at something else


  • 1

#13 sharpstudent

sharpstudent

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 34 posts
  • Member: 899937
    Joined: 04-November 19
  • N.Ireland

Posted 09 December 2019 - 10:13

Reminds me of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in Pride and Prejudice: "There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more true enjoyment of music than myself, or a better natural taste. If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient". And when it comes down to it, she's just a snob whose only talent is being a snob.

A chap I work with has had a hankering to play the guitar for some time. I think he's had a few mental health issues as well as a tricky home situation (his wife doesn't like 'that noise') so getting on with the task has been slow and he's largely teaching himself as and when he's able. I encourage him by asking how he's getting on and telling him to 'keep at it'.

A fellow colleague, however, constantly dismisses his attempts, outwardly in a joking way but it must hurt the first guy. Says things like, "Don't believe him. He'll never learn". I ask the colleague if he can play a musical instrument or sing and he always says that he can't but, if he started to learn, he'd make better progress than our friend. I know him well enough to tell him to prove it, but he always finds a reason not to. It's a pity because otherwise he's a lovely, supportive colleague. These days, when asking our friend about his progress (I try to make it more of a 'catch-up' on both sides) I try to make conversation when we're in the kitchen or when the other chap is out of the office, so awful do I feel to hear a would-be musician put down in that way.

 

I watched the movie yesterday......


  • 0

#14 sharpstudent

sharpstudent

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 34 posts
  • Member: 899937
    Joined: 04-November 19
  • N.Ireland

Posted 09 December 2019 - 10:14

ok so on discussing with a friend she said if she started the piano she would be excellent.  I said how do you know that unless you try and she said I am pretty confident that I would be excellent.  This is coming from someone who has never studied music or any instrument in her life.

 

I am pretty sure the well known pianists who have made a career out of playing have not been so pompus as to say they would be excellent.  Not even Martha Argerich who is one of the finest pianist of her day.  They are humble enough to try the piano and if they are good they are good and they only find out once they start to learn

The only way she can find out if she has a talent is to try. I am saying this from previous experience.


  • 0

#15 Gran'piano

Gran'piano

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 395 posts
  • Member: 899443
    Joined: 19-January 19

Posted 09 December 2019 - 14:29

... a friend  said if she started the piano she would be excellent. 

As usual, a different angle. Aren't children discouraged by their parents from saying OTT things about their own ability before they start school to prevent them being put in their place by other kids? So, if this lady is older than five or six, my question is 'why did she say that, to someone like Adult Pianist who, in matters musical,  is far more knowledgeable?' 

Having experienced life with two brothers, each with a warped sense of humour, I wonder if the lady were not simply having a go at 'winding AP up'? Many of us would, I think, react with umbrage if someone implied that they could, with minimum effort, do something  we have worked at much better than we can. If this was her aim, then I'd say she has been quite successful.


  • 1