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They're in. 

And I immediately burst in to tears.

LCM Grade 8 drum kit.

91/100

What a massive contrast to the Trinity Rock & Pop result from Dec 2016. 44/100

I REALLY didn't expect this result. So SO proud of myself. 

As I am on line
 
Apologies if you are not.
 
But are you trolling? It's against forum rules.
 
If you want to 'retire' do it. It's your decision. Go get a "low status role working for a big company". [/size]
 
How can we offer advice as you have the figures to make a living out of teaching or not!\[/size]
Stop wasting people's time.


[/size]

A bit harsh, I feel. I saw nothing in the post to suggest trolling.

The poster is having doubts about continuing and looking for support and advice from others on the forum. That's what we are for. Many teachers on here have probably had similar feelings at some time over the years.

I found your blunt response very unhelpful and disappointing.

Sad that ma non troppo's interesting question has developed in such an unfortunate way as the posts have progressed.

I thought this forum was set up for 'teachers helping teachers'

As a learner, I would prefer a teacher afford me the most basic of courtesies of being honest as to why he or she would not wish to have me as pupil.  If there is nothing sinister underpinning your reasoning, e.g. contravening the Equality Act 2010, and have articulated this clearly and logically then surely you have nothing to worry about. 
 
The best outcome would to be constructive: explain why you cannot teach them and provide them with alternative solutions, such as another possible teacher or changes to their behaviour that would allow you to take them on as a pupil.
 
In another thread, a teacher was going on about music teachers not being treated seriously as other Professions.  To me, you do yourself no favours by acting unprofessionally: one of the core characteristics of a professional is integrity; being honest. Condoning and advocating blatantly lying about lack of spaces and waiting lists is not acting professionally, quite the opposite.

I really don't know where to begin with this except to say that this is stunningly naive view. I know I have not given any details as to why I won't take this student on, (wise on an open forum) but surely it doesn't take much imagination to realise that honesty is not always the best policy. All I can say is that you are thinking like a student here, not as an experienced teacher or professional who works on a one to one basis in their own private studio.

RESULT!!!!

A very nice man gave me his email address and allowed me to scan him in a completed form.

Phew. 

A benign meningioma.

Essentially, if you had to pick a type of brain tumour to have, it's the one you'd choose.  And it's what I've got!

 

Future discussion will take place with a radiologist about whether to treat now or monitor and treat later if necessary (there are good arguments either way) - but it's all suddenly gone very relaxed and non-urgent (growth being ~1mm per year).

 

I'm really looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight...the 27 days since the 'you have a brain tumour' phone call have been somewhat intense!

Regulation would be as pointless and expensive as DBS checks. All it tells you is that person X hasn't been charged with doing Y. It encourages mistrust and paranoia and the idea that everyone is potentially guilty until proven innocent by some slip of paper.
The DBS (CRB as was) system was not designed to clear individuals as "suitable" for work with vulnerable groups but to remove those who pose a known risk.

Take the Soham murders of the two little girls. DBS checks wouldn't have stopped that as the murderer knew the girls through his girlfriend not his job.

Yes of course there is the argument that "honest people have nothing to fear" but why should they have to pay for a useless piece of paper and probably some membership fee of some "professional body" (like the GTC) which gives very little in return.

Totally agree about not giving a reason. Don't open the can of worms. If someone has reached adulthood without learning how to behave, then that's not your responsibility. Also stick with e-mail for communication - phoning can be tricky with those who won't take no for an answer.

It may not matter to the teacher but it should matter when I am the one paying for the lesson and if I do not do the homework then I am wasting my money because I am not progressing properly and not getting my monies worth.

If you are that bothered make time to do the work. Get up earlier. Read the score on your commute or listen to a recording if you drive. Mentally practice in your lunch hour, etc. There are lots of ways you can work on your pieces away from your instrument.

You can't blame your teacher if you haven't done the work. You're a grown up according to your forum name so your teacher probably figures scolding you like a child would be counter productive. If you think you are getting away with something, it suggests you know you could do more. So do it, don't blame your teacher.

As I say to my pupils, "I see you for *one* hour a week. If you don't practice what I teach you between lessons, you won't improve. Your choice, your money."

As others have said, it is okay to take a slower pace because you have commitments that take up your time but that is not the same as blaming your teacher because you didn't complete assigned work when you could have. If you really can't find the time to practice, you need to discuss that so practice expectations can be adjusted. Slow progress is better than no progress but you have to be honest.

I just got a follow up email from him - he's now an airline pilot living in the channel islands. He closed the message by saying 'Thank you for setting me off on a hobby that I am still enjoying 47 years later!' 

Phone rings in middle of lesson...

'Oh hello'
'Can you tell me who wrote Götterdämmerung '
'Er Wagner'
'OK thanks'
'Why do you need to know?'
'It's a crossword clue. I saw your name in yellow pages as a music teacher and thought you might know.'

Resumes lesson...

Nine years ago one of my boy pupils sat the one and only Trinity exam I have ever entered a pupil for - Grade 6 Piano. It was the usual story of not being able to do Grade 5 theory in time for AB G6 practical. His parents arranged for him to go to Spain to take the exam as there is no Trinity centre here - sadly they no longer operate in northern Spain  either. The pupil then went on to other things and I thought that was probably as far as his music would go.

 

In the supermarket yesterday a man tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me, are you .....?" I said I was but didn't recognize him. He was, in fact the father of the aforesaid pupil. We had quite a long chat and it turns out that his son has never stopped playing and is now back in England playing  keyboard and other instruments with various popular music groups and making his living from music. You honestly never know what seeds you have sown. I was particularly pleased to hear that the young man appreciated his "classical" time with me as this gave him a good basis for other styles. It would be nice if more felt like that - I've just lost two brothers  who decided youtube would be "easier". I have been unable to convince them that a thorough grounding in reading and understanding music would take them a lot further. Well, you can't win 'em all but I was delighted to catch up on one pupil's news!  
.

 

Adultpianist, I have sent texts, and they have not got through.  In fairness to your teacher, I think you need to assume they are telling they truth.  Ending lessons can be awkward for several reasons.  From the teacher's point of view, you are only one bad review online from going out of business.  I had a defamatory review a few years ago, and it seriously impacted on my income.   I had the review taken down, and hey presto, all slowly improved.  That review cost in me in the region of £20K.   Your teacher has no idea if you are going to turn nasty, are just moving on, or going to work with another teacher.  Being neutral is often the safest approach, as it can avoid serious fallout.  

 

You have decided to finish lessons.  Your teacher has accept this.  Time to move one.

why would I turn nasty.  That is not in my nature.   I have no reason to turn nasty.   I was taught some very good techniques which I put into practice and I am thankful for that.   I genuinely do not have the time to pursue lessons at the moment and that is the reason and that is what I told her.   If I have no time to pursue lessons why would I go on to another teacher because I would be in the same position (no time for lessons).   My job has become increasingly busy and if I try to fit in flute as well I would be running myself into the ground and would be mentally and physically ill.   I genuinely want to learn the flute but when I started , my job was less busy.    As I said I will continue to practice at home as and when I can to keep things ticking over.  Obviously I am not skilled enough to try new things but at least I can practice what I have been taught and improve on that for now

 

Your instrumental teacher has not spent that much time with you, and cannot be assured of your true personality.  I am not saying any of this to personally attack you, just trying to get you to see why your teacher reacted the way she did.

 

Your reasons for stopping are perfectly valid.  What I do think was unnecessary, was to imply your teacher lied when she said she did not receive the text.  When I send out texts asking my students to pay their fees, I accept it if they tell me the message did not get through.  To be frank, Adultpianist, you have come on here asking advice, followed it, it worked, and now you are criticising your teacher for not being effusive enough when you gave notice.  I am going to call you out on this, I think you are in fact being remarkably unkind, and your teacher was correct to be neutral.  You have decided to stop lessons, have given notice, and now prefer to believe your teacher is a liar who did not pay you enough compliments.  Stop whining.

 

edit: just come back to read this thread, have decided to put the boot in more often, folks on here seem to like it, crikey!!

I intend to take no action and change nothing. I'll let you know if I am prosecuted. I'll post details of my 'go fund me' account when that happens. Don't hold your breath!

Well, after my firm but fair email she decided that she'd rather go elsewhere for lessons and said she wanted to go until half term but I said I would refund her for her lessons this month instead, as I didn't feel the remainder of our lessons would be very productive knowing that they'd be coming to an end.

Feels like a huge weight has been lifted, I won't be dreading Monday mornings anymore! Phew. Thank you for all the messages of support, am very glad I didn't let her off now!

Thrilled to bits today to hear that younger son has got a 2:1 in his B Mus! 

 

It's been such a long journey for him due to various complications along the way so this is Seriously Good News! 

I have just learned that my first piano teacher passed away last month. 

 

 I thought she should have a mention on the forums:  she was, after all,  my very first music teacher. 

And it makes me very happy that she reached the wonderful old age of 107. 

 

She was still teaching, and singing in her church choir well into her nineties. What an innings :-) 

Hilariously the teachers who seek to justify/defend their use of, or sympathy with, the term 'studio' only make themselves sound more pretentious in the process.

 

Bantock, why do you: (a) care so much which word someone else chooses to use to describe something?  (I may say couch, you may say sofa, someone else may say settee - as long as we all have somewhere to sit, does it really make any difference?)  And (b) feel a need to post on this thread, not to add anything helpful or even relevant, but purely to criticise and insult other posters?  

 

As the saying goes, if you don't have anything nice to say....  

 

I have been reluctant to post this and "feed the troll", but I care about protecting the atmosphere we have on this forum, of supporting rather than laughing at or being unkind to one another.  There's no place for that here.  (Or, in fact, anywhere.)  

I take exception to the remark that someone is too intelligent to accept the Christianity story. There are many academics including scientists who are devout Christians.

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